Final goodbye Thursday

The ride was fine but when I arrived home my Bowie was struggling. We did not expect him to make it thru the night, we wanted to do an in home euthanasia, but were forced to head for the vet. The family came and I mustered all the strength, courage and faith to walk thru that door to say our goodbye. It was horrifically tragic for me, i wanted to scream, I wanted to break thru a wall, I wanted to die. My brain was haywire in grief and arriving home was just impossible, I cried for hours, It's the most painful thing I have endured my entire lifetime, words can barely describe it as it just cut my heart. The last four days have been extremely challenging, battling tears, anger, frustration, sadness. I know it will change over time but for now it's painful, just so damn painful. I love your Bowie. Last night I lost my best friend, currently with a heavy heart and tear soaked eyes I’m so grateful for my time with him. Bowie’s heart was failing him, his heart filled with his and our adoring love, could hold no more. He blessed our lives and those he met for 11 incredible years, he came to us an unforgettable companion, we traveled the country, he swam in the mighty Colorado, he held our wedding rings on our special day, he protected his new born baby Landon, he chewed sticks, bossed Bentley around, pooped on the carpet, barfed in the bathroom. I love you Bowie with all my heart, I will never come home the same without you there, I will never ever forget you, thank you Bowie for sharing all your love and time with us on this challenging mortal earth. We will meet again in our perfect bodies and it will be glorious.

Crushed Wednesday

My pup is getting no better, the meds are 3 days in, the vet called and said his bloodwork shows he is further along than he expected, I wasn't surprised. Bowie is visibly struggling more, I fear he will not make the week. He still greets, he still wags, he stil wants to play, he is completely limited by only his heart. The ride was fast and ok but my mind was elsewhere obviously.

Make it thru Tuesday

Tuesday came, feeling moody but wanted out of the house, hoping pedaling would bring relief to my sorrow it brought nothing. But when I retured home my sweet Bowe sitting waiting for me brought be great joy, he's still with me adoring sweet love until the end.

Grim Monday

I went out Mnday to hunt down some dirt as we entered yet another week of excessive heat. I had a hot ride but still good one. WhenI arrived home I knew my poor Bowie was unwell and he needed to get to the vet. I took him in expecting some anitbiotics but walked out with a horrific diagnosis for my Bowie. His heart was failing him, we learned of a heart murmur last year and his symptoms were baring down on him. I cried man, I cried like I have never cried before, he was to go home with some meds and we were to spend his coming days in absolute pamper with us. We had days, weeks, months left. I had to break the news to our fmaily where we wept the crushing feelin and helplessness for our dear Bowie.

Swimming without water

HOT HOT HOT ride, the heat didn't effect me much at all in the past, but this year it's been rough, maybe my weight gain I duno. I was thrilled to hve my rides in and was ready for a restful weekend which it was. Still sad for my doggy I am dealing with it much better.

Breaking in new stompers

Feeling a little better emotionally this day I was off with my new five ten impact pros. Alot of people complain about Fiveten after they got bought by Adidas but I contiue to have fantastic experiences. I put about 3,000 miles on my last pair and plan to do the same. I have also been enjoying some new 100% brand jerseys. This ride was finally up and over in the heat, which has been driving me nuts ately. Good but hot ride......no relief in sight. This one hurt but accomplished.

I can't pedal this out

Another ride as I continued to chug on through the week, I needed my bike but it wasn't bringing much relief. Another sad day but a good ride.